Will I Ever Be the Same?

Facing the unknown after injury.

I was injury-free for over a decade, until the beginning of this year; when I incurred a knee injury. I took 7 months off- lost all fitness; watched my body change; and consequently poured the newfound time and energy into building new parts of my business. Last week my surgeon told me I was cleared to run. I teared up hearing his voice through the phone and timidly asked, “Do you think I’ll be able to return to what I was doing…to the distances I was training for?” I held my breath for his response; I had already prepared for the worst.

“You know Sally, most doctors would probably disagree with me, but I think you will. The build up might look different and you’ll need to take things really easy in the beginning, but I believe anything is possible. I’ve seen athletes like you- you find a way…and you have all this experience and strength. Just be patient.”

It was 6:30pm, the sun had just set and I was walking slowly up and down my street as Dr. Ryan spoke- I was too nervous to sit on my couch for the call. Once he finished, a flood of quiet tears streamed down my face, “Thank you so much…this is the best news ever…thank you, thank you.”

Post Radial Meniscus Tear Surgery. Watching my son, Isaiah play Lacrosse from the front seat of my car.

To say I’m grateful is an understatement- I’m slightly shocked to be honest. There were many weeks, months where I convinced myself that I would never run “ultra-far” again. I made peace with my long and deep career having raced on every continent and standing on podiums in the toughest races in trail running. I set my eyes on healing and immersed myself in creating new parts of my business. I traveled, spoke, put on events and built countless new relationships. It was important to me that I take the lessons I learned long ago and apply them to my current state. I believe every setback, loss, and heartache we experience doesn’t disqualify our lives moving forward, rather they prepare us for something greater ahead. I kept that hope at the forefront everyday. What I was experiencing wasn’t hard, it was different and initially, it wasn’t anything I wanted, but I chose to believe there was good ahead.

This is life for ALL of us. I know I can relate to people on a global level far more in my pain than in my triumphs. Pain and injury; loss and failure- they are guaranteed for all of us. Understanding this is one of the first steps to establishing a strong mindset and taking control of the life we create for ourselves. My response to every disappointment, every heartache, or unfair situation will always rest with me. And so it was with this injury- I didn’t want to make my non-running days about complaining and feeling sorry for myself, I wanted to discover the newly revealed blessings because of my injury. Easier said than done, but I encourage you to try it should you be in a tough place. What we choose to focus on will define our days. Focus on the hurt and the negative and you’ll find more of it; or, focus on the good and the blessings and both will increase.

I lost track of the number of messages and face to face conversations with people inviting me to be sad. “Im sure it’s so hard Sally, it’s okay to be sad- you can be upset.” Now, I believe each of these kind hearts meant well; their sympathies for having worked through a similar injury or setback were well received. It also brought a greater self-awareness for who I am uniquely. While I missed running, racing and joyfully charging up the side of a mountain at sunset, I had peace. Chalk it up to to the first 18 years of my life, when the seasons were routinely painful and loss, so deep, I contemplated continuing on with life; the pain of this knee injury felt, gentle. Which is also why I feel it’s deeply important to validate every soul in their unique experiences with pain, injury, loss, etc. We don’t know where people are in their journey and if we understand that with every loss, comes renewed strength and growth, we too can encourage each other to stay hopeful and keep moving forward. If we choose, we can build on our losses just as we build on our triumphs; it’s ALL valuable.

So, now what? What does THE REBUILD look like for me, uniquely? Well, for starters, it’s going to be slow, likely boring, and filled with new aerobic and strength routines. I’d like to share the journey with YOU- and I say that with a bit of nervousness knowing I’m also inviting you to see my weakness on full display. My physical starting point will be set to BEGINNER and daily, I will be battling my PRO ATHLETE mind. I have a feeling they won’t get along very well, which is another reason I want to share this rebuild with you. Our minds are POWERFUL and if we train them with the same intensity as we do the physical body, we can become unstoppable. I’ve experienced this many times in my career, particularly when I was racing the Grand Slam of 200s in 2023. When I reflect on my physical condition in each race, including much of what I did not share, I’m amazed I made it to the Finish lines, let alone emerged as a Champion. That series strengthened my mindset in ways I didn’t know were possible, so I’ll be taking that same mindset and applying it to the REBUILD and getting back to the start line of the sport I deeply love.

As always, I want to acknowledge YOU. You are wondrous and deep and full of abilities you might not be aware of. You are uniquely placed on this earth to shine your one beautiful light; and even if you’re in a tough season right now, I want to encourage you to keep your eyes on that ONE finish line. Even in your losses, there is great hope for your future and it’s only by you trying again and again that you will discover what’s ahead. Life is beautiful and hard all at once, but you were made to overcome. I’m rooting for you always and I’m grateful you are here.

Let the Rebuild Begin!

Strength and Love,

Sally

Moab 240 Champion-2023